CHICAGO — Local man and ostentatious snob William Huller was struck with an intense wave of envy as he pretended to read ‘Gravity’s Rainbow” in…
EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — Local music snob Larson Cheek is extremely anxiety-ridden over the fact that nobody has taken anything from the box of free records…
LOS ANGELES — Software Developer and self-described “weed snob” Aiden Crispin exclusively fills his bong with chilled Evian, sources rolling their admittedly red eyes confirm.…
CHICAGO — Local beer connoisseur Evan Ramirez recently made the startling discovery that his new favorite craft beer transmutes directly to expensive, fancy piss, sources…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Pretentious bourbon sniffer Patrick Welles is ruining the otherwise fun vibes of an impromptu house party hang with his talk of tasting…
You know me so well. You know I love ambient, fuzzy surf rock and you know I love when zoomers add 808s and rap over…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Perpetual IPA drinker Benson Watley is reportedly relieved, albeit secretly, that he can now enjoy hard seltzers without the social stigma once…
CHICAGO — Local young couple Brandon Brentwood and Jade Long discovered that Long’s grandmother is just trying way too hard after going through her vinyl…
SIMI VALLEY, Calif. -— Punk sommelier and founder of Rotten Grape Vineyards, Terry “Tooth” Berkley recently shouted that the only good pairing is whippits and…
Power to the people! ACAB! Eat the rich! That’s what we would have told you 30 minutes ago, but we just taste-tested some white wines…
I despise popular music. I frequently make it known that I exclusively listen to bands that are so obscure, they aren’t even on Spotify or…
Listen, I’m not usually one to get snobby about alcohol but after years of refining my palette in the finest bus stations and public restrooms…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local showgoer Alex Andrade ventured off to the restroom last night in hopes of finding a toilet seat that “felt just right,…
Oh, so you love Vampire Weekend, yeah? You’re a big fan? Well, we’ll see about that. Real fans can name at least THREE artisanal cigarette…
IRVINE, Calif. — Turtle Rock Elementary 5th-grader and admitted music snob Brandon Mosley insisted on Friday that he prefers “Weird Al” Yankovic’s non-parody works, according…