John Danek
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November 28, 2020
BALTIMORE — Influential powerviolence band ElevenTimesElevenCrimes announced today that expensive car repairs, alimony payments, and a misguided Playstation 4 purchase…
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Parker Newman
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November 19, 2020
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local man Charlie Miller made the bold decision today to only listen to canceled bands on Spotify…
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Bobby Korec
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November 17, 2020
SEATTLE — Conveniently opportunistic “cash only” bar Zoo Tavern allegedly also has an abnormally high $7 ATM fee, patrons who…
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John Danek
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November 14, 2020
DAYTON, Ohio — Local guitarist Max Gordon’s revealed today that her attempt to sell her old guitar amplifier has already…
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Ramona Apthorp
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October 25, 2020
NEW YORK — Spotify CEO Daniel Ek reportedly won .0005% custody of his children in a landmark hearing yesterday, according…
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Jerrod Kingery
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October 15, 2020
PONCA CITY, Okla. — Marcotte’s Market Grocery cashier Russell Lum took out all of his anger and stress on the…
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Dan Kozuh
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October 5, 2020
SEATTLE — Local guitarist Sadie Love swore today that her new button maker will be well worth the startup cost…
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Patrick Crooks
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September 20, 2020
LOS ANGELES — CBS executives announced today the return of “2 Broke Girls” as an OnlyFans exclusive, following the success…
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Patrick Crooks
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September 16, 2020
FALLS CHURCH, Va. — 36-year-old Michael Connelly’s sarcastic response moments ago to a demand from his parents effectively eliminated the…
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Griffin Constant
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September 15, 2020
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Ollie Harris forced down another five beers and a bunch of chips moments ago in an…
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