Listen here, poser. You think you know this band? Really? What, you started listening to them six weeks ago? And now you’re happy to be…
CITY OF DIS, Hell — 78 percent of demons across the Netherworld experienced feelings of low self-esteem and body issues when subjected to the unrealistic…
LOS ANGELES — Metallica’s live concert and online merch booth is now the world’s 32nd largest economy by GDP following another year of unprecedented growth,…
PHOENIX — Shock rocker Alice Cooper broke ground today on his new Republican-exclusive, goth-themed golf course, “Welcome to My Putt-mare,” developers close to the project…
LOS ANGELES — Prolific metal guitarist Buckethead finally revealed the origin of his nickname today at a press conference, settling a long-standing debate once and…
PITTSBURGH — Grindcore band Visceral Womb will embark on a two-day, 50 city-tour in support of their new 65-song LP Biological Excrement Afterbirth, sources confirmed…
In a land decimated by civil war, terrorism, and violence, Syrian musicians have persevered through hell on earth. Thanks to the internet we can finally…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Music fans at the Kentucky State Fair were surprised and depressed last week to learn that what they thought was a Whitesnake…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — EMT student Lindsay Taugida set a record yesterday during a class test in reaching 220 beats-per-minute while performing CPR, officials at the…
CLEVELAND — Tensions erupted earlier this week when local metal band Six Inch Fetus struggled to determine who would be the one member required to…
CINCINNATI — Metalcore stalwarts Agony of Death are closing in on a band agreement that could lead to their first foray into SoundCloud rap, according…
I’ve been a Harm’s Way fan since I first discovered the Chicago-based heavy hitters on the Bridge 9 boards four years ago. I’d heard that the…
When I heard that doom metal gods Sleep were playing “Dopesmoker” in its entirety on an outdoor stage in Death Valley, I knew I had…
PITTSBURGH — After blasting through the first 27 songs of their set last night, local grindcore vocalist Alex Brown asked if his band had time…
SAN FRANCISCO — Born-again metalhead Pete Ericson will only listen to Testament albums released before 1992, claiming those records are “the sacred works of metal…