DENVER — Newly single man Chris Fangerburg held a moment of silence for his former relationship today, lowering the toilet seat in his recently rented…
BALTIMORE — Local Zoom show attendee Bryant Nelson sent fellow showgoer Sage Mykels unwanted messages in the chat of Wood Leg Work’s virtual show last…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local man Edgar Ruiz admitted today that he would have done things much differently if he knew that the most recent time…

Man Wondering if One of the Horny MILFs in His Area Could Maybe Just Show Him How to Iron His Shirts
SUMMERVILLE, S.C. — Local man Aaron Metcalfe is hoping today that one of the apparently hundreds of horny MILFs in his area advertised on PornHub…
PHILADELPHIA — Local resident Daniel Mayfield is now in his 10th consecutive year of waiting to be in a good enough state-of-mind to try LSD,…
DENVER — Local man Cory McCann is ready to settle down and meet “the one” person he’ll spend the rest of the year with, or…
NEW YORK — Sony Entertainment has acquired exclusive rights to all depictions of arachnids and men in film, television, and video games, just in case…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Ridiculously attractive man and recent Milwaukee transplant Josh Billingsley left dozens disappointed today after confirming that he has a lifelong, loving relationship…
SPOKANE, Wash. — The upcoming “Beavis and Butt-Head” revival on Comedy Central has finally given 41-year-old Paul Moreno a topic of conversation to share with…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Local Publix shopper Wesley Clemons removed his protective face mask this morning after realizing that no one else in the grocery store…
TORONTO — Local well-known-for-having-a-beard guy Will Hoover has finally invested in a hat after being asked to shave for a family gathering, according to sources.…
SEATTLE — White guy Joey Kipling started a two week break from consuming any news late last week, citing discomfort, confusion, and depression as reasons…
LOS ANGELES — Local punk and tall guy Michael Snyder replaced standing in front of his short girlfriend Anna Nelson at shows with standing in…