RICHMOND, Va. — Several medical reports released early this morning state that any and all injuries sustained after the age of 25 will be with…
LOS ANGELES — Progressive rock band, Sagramore, surprised attendees of their most recent show when they used the time schedule for an encore to assign…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local deadhead Patrick Thames expressed excitement over Martin Scorsese’s upcoming biopic of the Grateful Dead which is expected to be mostly improvised,…
MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — A new Descendents box set is exciting fans with never-before-heard songs and lost recordings including a version of “I Like Food”…
GARY, Ind. — Local jam band Welcome Back Emmett Otter increasingly wishes that someone in the audience of The Jackawolf would tell them when the…
CHICAGO — Aging goth Ashe Montresor is barely managing to push through their daily 170-minute ritual of applying the appropriate makeup to make them look…
FORT MEADE, Md. — U.S. National Security Agent Dan Briggs mentally prepared himself for another four minutes of unadulterated sing-alongs today after watching Lynn Lozano…
RIO RANCHO, N.M. — A single song by prog-rock legends Rush was mistaken for an entire prog-rock album by radio listener Melissa Chavez, according to…
GENEVA — Scientists at the European Organization for Nuclear Research discovered yesterday that Iron Maiden’s 8:46-long “Brighter Than a Thousand Suns” contains a surprisingly decent…
LONDON — The British-born glam rock guitarist who goes by the name “Scazz Slaughter” has almost definitely got “some dumbass ‘Downton Abbey’-ish” real name like…
LOS ANGELES — Film director Alex Cox came to the sudden and tragic realization this morning that his 1986 biopic “Sid and Nancy” was just…
SAN DIEGO — Local classical guitar virtuoso and all-around good dude Sheldon Michelson’s musical talent and congenial manner is consistently overshadowed by the abnormally long…
PHILADELPHIA — An online dinner recipe for a simple, vegan-friendly lentil soup has allegedly been written as a “fucking novel for some reason,” hungry sources…
SALT LAKE CITY — Self-identified punk Alexandra Fairuz discovered earlier today, via a search of her surname on Ancestry.com, that she descends from a long…