At first glance, the whimsical world of Harry Potter may not seem like a place that would produce fans of the early satanic Norwegian black…
STAUNTON, Va. — Local board members at Staunton’s Green Hills of Grace Church are vocally championing J.K. Rowling, despite enforcing a household ban on Harry…
LONDON — Best-selling author JK Rowling announced today that her new novel Troubled Blood will be published anonymously, written entirely in a greentext story on…
LONDON — Harry Potter author JK Rowling has announced that her next novel, about a cisgender man who dresses as a woman in order to…
EDINBURGH — Young adult fiction fans are rejoicing as the literature world finally has a female equivalent to Orson Scott Card now that J.K. Rowling’s…
SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS — Professors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft admit they’re struggling with teaching students remotely via Zoom several months into a devastating outbreak of…
LONDON — In what fans are calling the most pathetic example of Michael Bloomberg’s viral campaign advertising, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling has announced on…
LONDON — A recent Pottermore update will now require users to upload pictures of their genitals in order to confirm their gender at the behest…
WHITMAN, Mass. — Local punk Bobby Deitz was disappointed last Friday by the Hardcore Sorting Hat, which placed him into the “Hockey Fan” house despite…
BOSTON — Popular fantasy author Rick Riordan announced via Twitter today that his character Percy Jackson is a pansexual fuck machine, regularly engaging in “Olympic-esque…
LONDON, U.K. — In a controversial Tweet this morning, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling revealed that you, the reader, have been gay ever since the…
The figurative dust has not yet settled on Charlottesville, Virginia, where Heather Heyer, a counter-protester to an evil white supremacist march, was tragically murdered by…