TEMPE, Ariz. — Local idiot Eli Burkhardt made a fool of himself today by accidentally cutting off his jeans vertically, leaving the back of his…
RACINE, Wisc. — Climate scientists predict that some indoor DIY music venue temperatures will plummet to a record low of less than 90 degrees, due…
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Former crust punk Howie Benson searched in vain earlier today for a way to hide his old, shitty tattoos before a mandatory…
PHOENIX — Local hero and vinyl enthusiast Nate Adams broke a car window in last week’s triple-digit temperatures in order to save some records overheating…
Hey, you. Yeah, I’m talking to you. The one crowd killing by swinging fists directly into unsuspecting show patrons trying to watch this band. I’m…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — With more and more of today’s youth turning to the internet for romance and human interaction, a new band formation app…
AUSTIN, Texas — A group of showgoers were shocked to find one of the bands performing that night left their bassist in a blistering hot van…
OXNARD, Calif. – Local punk Richard Clemmons, bored of railing against man-made systems and social structures, has embarked on a crusade against an oppressive weather…
ALBANY, N.Y. – Showgoers at a local Accuracy of Fire show are reporting that a sweaty man — in fact, the sweatiest man in the…
GAINESVILLE, FL – Hot Water Music frontman and Revival Tour founder Chuck Ragan announced today that he would be undergoing a lifesaving flannel transplant this…