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Lauren Lavín • April 24, 2020

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Following the order to continue sheltering in place for the next 30 days, local woman Autumn…

Dan Kozuh • April 18, 2020

ATLANTA — Fate Embrace merch guy Edgar Byrd stood aimlessly behind his kitchen table for hours earlier this week in…

Dom Turek • April 16, 2020

NEW YORK — Local man Bryan Watson spent his 28th birthday last week quarantined from friends and family due to…

Ben Friedman • March 30, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Social media website MySpace announced today it will require their singular employee to work from home during…

James Knapp • March 28, 2020

BOSTON — Local woman Farrah Johanson assured anyone who would listen yet again today that she is masturbating just as…

Mark Bouchard • March 22, 2020

CHICAGO — Local punk Allen Prestigiacomo is now unemployed from home, thanks to Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker’s decree forcing bars…

Brett McCabe • February 19, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Tired, aging 31-year-old punk David Kresner was relieved when police arrived at a record release show last…

Kate Howard • February 10, 2020

ROCK FALLS, Iowa — Punk ghost Beau Brinkles is hopeful that this year will be the one in which he…

Mark Bouchard • December 21, 2019

YONKERS, N.Y. — Local man Patrick Murphy’s childhood sock puppet is in for an experience never imagined possible later today…

Tim Young • May 17, 2019

ALAMEDA, Calif. — Local punk venue The Frick House installed depressed tenant Adam Gould on their couch yesterday, with full…

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