GREAT NECK, N.Y. — Plumber, adventurer, and class of 1985 graduate Mario Mario reportedly confused the majority of his graduating class as he told old…
UMTANUM, Wash. — Local single man Cameron Barrett admitted today that he’s been patiently waiting for his high school crush to get divorced so he…
Like most Americans, we spent our time quarantined catching up on podcasts, learning to cook (shoutout my sourdough starter), and plotting how to get back…
KANTO — Local would-be Pokémon trainer Bobby, despite completing his initial training, receiving a Pokédex, and being fully prepared to battle across the Kanto region…
Hey, Hometown Crush Who Peaked in High School Here, Just Sliding Into Your DMs to Say “Not All Cops”
Hey, Hometown Crush Who Peaked in High School Here, Just Sliding Into Your DMs to Say “Not All Cops”
Yesterday, 1:26pm Hey, remember me lol it’s been a while! Yesterday, 1:29pm Thought about you the other day when I ran a stop sign on…
DULUTH, Minn. — A recent invitation to her 20 year high school reunion has Samus Aran, graduate of Howard Olson High School and star of…
Yo. You’ll never guess who we got a chance to sit down with. Remember that girl, from high school, Kayla Green? YUP! The one that…
DENVER — Local high schooler Jake Fritzler astounded his teachers today by scoring 1050 on the SAT despite entering nothing but the sequence “ACAB” on…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Edison High School was set ablaze with speculation last week that it’s gym teacher, Douglas Vesely, might actually be legendary hardcore frontman…
MERRIMACK, N.H. — Iconic town landmark Makeout Point, once the place to go for late-night necking, is now allegedly almost exclusively for butt stuff, according…
PASADENA, Calif. — Classmates turned and stared expectantly yesterday at high school student and local punk Samuel “The Cat” Chesters after geometry teacher Selena Bryson…
NORTH MANCHESTER, Ind. — Middle-aged punk John Miaza recalled today exactly which high school class he was skipping when the first plane crashed into the…
RENO, Nev. — Sweaty and bumbling 16-year-old Skyler Donovan attempted to hide in a locker today next to his crush Christina Selig while dodging bullets…
EVANSTON, Ill. — A group of friends who have been “practically inseparable” since their freshman year of high school are looking forward to hanging out…
Dudes! Can you even fucking believe this? Seems like yesterday we were just scrawny freshman walking into Neil Armstrong High School looking up at the…