Courtney Hill
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January 23, 2025
KEENE, N.H. — Family court judge Deanna Westcock was unexpectedly persuaded to reconsider a tense custody battle following a stirring…
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Tim Graham
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August 9, 2023
PRESCOTT, Ariz. — Local metal enthusiast Griff Nilsson asked his doctor to adjust the persistent ringing in his ears to…
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Ramona Apthorp
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October 25, 2020
NEW YORK — Spotify CEO Daniel Ek reportedly won .0005% custody of his children in a landmark hearing yesterday, according…
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Billy Patterson
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September 11, 2020
HERSHEY, Pa. — Divorced father of three Scott Timmons is happy he botched his custody hearing, now that his children…
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Henrik Persson
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December 21, 2019
PORTLAND, Maine — Metalcore frontman and obvious liar Zander Dekay claimed at a show last Friday that he “can’t hear…
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Patrick Coyne
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November 9, 2018
PHILADELPHIA — Fans of indie-rock band To Jupiter were disappointed and disillusioned last night when a stripped-down, acoustic version of…
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Jack Garrett
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July 16, 2018
MADISON, Wis. — Audience members watching nü-metal band Dizguzt last night slowly realized that frontman Colin Greene genuinely couldn’t hear…
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Brooks Wilson
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November 8, 2017
LAKE WOBEGON, Minn. — The Council of Siblings began an intensive investigation after a stunned household reeled collectively as Brendan…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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September 5, 2017
Listen up, you ableist monsters: if you’re out there promoting your music that relies exclusively on people being able to…
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Dan Kozuh
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August 26, 2017
CHICAGO — Pitchfork critic Thomas Coates penned a thorough-yet-harsh critique of his ever-encroaching tinnitus last week, ultimately giving his affliction…
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