Hardcore Tag Archives - Page 649

Marijuana Dispensaries Now Legally Require You to Sit And Listen to Them Play Guitar For 40 Minutes Before Buying Weed

Dan Kozuh • January 18, 2017

SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- California state lawmakers held an emergency vote on Proposition 64 last night, requiring marijuana dispensary employees to…

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Nü-Metal Atheist Doesn’t Believe in Godsmack

Kyle Erf • January 17, 2017

NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. -- Rutgers University sophomore Mike Holloway declared today that he “doesn’t believe in Godsmack,” calling himself a…

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Touring Musician Totally Remembers You

Graham Isador • January 16, 2017

NEW HAVEN, Conn. – You were excited and overjoyed last night when Steve Sladkowski, lead guitarist of the punk rock…

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Conspiracy Theorist Starting to Connect Dots in Coloring Book

Mark Turner • January 15, 2017

BILOXI, Miss. -- Local conspiracy theorist and part-time internet gumshoe Leo Chaney recently discovered the long arm of the state…

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Local Man Realizing He Only Likes 9 Albums

Dan Rice • January 14, 2017

STAMFORD, Conn. -- After a brief, failed attempt to participate in a social media trend, liquor store clerk Kurt Kruszewski…

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Anthony Bourdain Convinced to Eat Bugs by Tribe Who Does Not Eat Bugs

Collin Canning • January 14, 2017

WINDHOEK, Namibia -- Travel show host and author Anthony Bourdain ate a wide variety of bugs last week after a…

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Creationist Museum Denies Existence of Dinosaur Jr.

Goodrich Gevaart • January 12, 2017

PETERSBURG, Ky. — The Creation Museum issued a statement denying the existence of a supposed Dinosaur Jr. era in an…

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Entire Group From Online Dating Profile Photo Shows up to First Date

The Hard Times Staff • January 12, 2017

NEW YORK -- Jessica Peterson was allegedly “shocked and confused” last night after every member of a group photo in…

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VICE Reporter Fired for Not Saying “Fuck” During Broadcast

M.J. Amory • January 11, 2017

LOS ANGELES -- After completing a segment on the sex lives of Kurdish fighters in Syria, VICE News reporter Dave…

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Cool Teacher Heard of Band

Dan Kozuh • January 11, 2017

SCHAUMBURG, Ill. -- Ryan Daniels, an AP English teacher at Schaumburg Public High School, has allegedly heard of indie rock band Parquet Courts, according…

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