Patrick Coyne
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DETROIT — A group of squatting punks became unwitting participants in the eternal struggle of man-versus-nature last week, as each…
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Dear Scabby: What's the best way to DIY myself a stick n poke tattoo on my face? Always wanted one,…
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Patrick Coyne
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JACKSON, Miss. — Loyal Smiths fan Jaden Woods is desperately pushing a conspiracy theory that the real Morrissey died decades…
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Eric Navarro
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BALTIMORE — Local karaoke enthusiasts were shocked last night to learn that the words to Cosmic Dinosaur’s hit single “Let’s…
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John Danek
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GREENSBURG, Pa. — 93-year-old grandfather and pretentious grouch Stan Kiska yet again defended his stance today that Joe Besser was…
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Lauren Lavín
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SAN ANTONIO — A friend informed you today during a visit to your hometown that she finally listened to Breaking…
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Louie Aronowitz
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CHICAGO — Riot Fest organizers announced today that this year’s festival will be headlined by all past iterations of Andrew…
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Patrick Coyne
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NEW YORK — An alarming new study conducted by a research panel of angry baby boomers found that 82% of…
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PEARL CITY, Hawaii — 15-year-old hipster Delia Park has fully transformed from an early fan to a harsh critic of…
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Alex Salcido
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KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Local bartender Marty Craig allowed himself to enjoy the Limp Bizkit classic “Rollin’” in its entirety…
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