Ben Friedman
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HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Popular local surf rock band Neutral Milk Hotel California is rumored to be playing a show…
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Taylor Smart
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BOSTON — General Electric introduced their “early discharge” microwave oven technology today, which is expected to improve user experience by…
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Ted Pillow
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Hate your dingy office? Your soul-crushing job? That asshole of a boss? Of course you do! Everyone does. But what…
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David Britton
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BOSTON — Longtime They Might Be Giants fan Greg Simpson admitted today that he is unable to tell if the…
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Patrick Coyne
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JERSEY CITY, N.J. — Local infamous “Kilt Guy” Jeremy Flanagan played a dangerous, nard-threatening game last night by crowd surfing…
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James Knapp
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TOWSON, Md. — Noted anarchist and father Conor “Red” Hampton spent a wholesome afternoon yesterday teaching his 12-year-old son Dennis…
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Shawn Murray
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MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. — Your younger cousin Blake Liston-Schneider confirmed moments ago that he has some “dank nugs” if you’re…
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Dan Rice
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When you hear the word hero, you probably think of Batman or Superman or maybe The Martian Manhunter. It’s a…
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Jordan Breeding
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HARRISONBURG, Va. — Local punk and obvious alcoholic Marcia Fries announced moments ago that despite consuming nearly a dozen cans…
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Tim Nash
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LOS ANGELES — Matt Skiba, guitarist and vocalist for celebrated pop-punk bands Alkaline Trio and Blink-182, emailed his resume this…
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