Ramona Apthorp
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LOS ANGELES — The second coming of Jesus was cut short this past Wednesday when LAPD Ofc. Thomas Andrews opened…
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John Dixon
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SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Laid-off sound engineer Logan Green is constantly adjusting the volume levels of his television in order…
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James Knapp
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WEST LAWN, Penn. — A generation-defining show at local basement venue The Bottleneck was briefly interrupted last night when venue/home…
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Ryan Danley
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WASHINGTON — Worried about industry typecasting, representatives of local crisis actor Daniel Mauer say he is seeking a wider range…
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James Kinneen
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NEW YORK — The American Museum of Natural History’s cast bronze and allegedly sentient Christopher Columbus statue was the victim…
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John Sevigne
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FRESNO, Calif. — Local middle-aged skateboarder Eddy Tirado impulsively flipped off the security guard standing by the front door of…
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John Merrifield
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NEW YORK — Ofc. Peter McKenzie of the NYPD underwent a controversial and dangerous surgery last week to alleviate stress…
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Jay Shingle
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SEATTLE — White guy Joey Kipling started a two week break from consuming any news late last week, citing discomfort,…
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Patrick Coyne
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WILMINGTON, Del. — Genetic scientists have resurrected a dead punk scene using the DNA of an original guitarist preserved in…
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Dom Turek
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GARLAND, Texas — Local woman Kristen Tate practices safe sex by taking her birth control at the exact same time…
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