LAS VEGAS — Local punk Jenny Klepski’s eyes were badly strained last night by focusing on the small print lineup at the bottom of a…
Aries (March 21-April 19) You’ve been juggling your career, romance, and creative interests for the past year, Aries… and, hey: maybe it’s time to say…
CLEVELAND — Recently signed hardcore band Pain on Fire discovered this afternoon that their recent promotional photoshoot was marred by a pleasant grin from their…
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Music journalist and human serviette Nardwuar surprised unknown Canadian musician Randall Hartford with a rare, unreleased recording of his funeral, stunned…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local trans woman Emma Nelson was forced to cross the street last night to avoid an ambush from “well-wishing allies,” whose constant…
We’ve all experienced it- maybe while walking your dog through the park or looking through bargain bin records at the thrift store, or maybe you’re…
DENVER — Local couple Keith and Laurie Hudson updated their party plans this past weekend when a simple get-together among friends quickly escalated into a…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Punk bassist and lifelong ne’er-do-well Sergio Vasquez made a startling revelation earlier today, admitting he “truly doesn’t give a fuck” about J.D.…
PHILADELPHIA — The biggest fan of local indie rock band Cash Only is reportedly Kevin Estrada, a close friend who doesn’t have an ounce of…
BOSTON — Tufts University philosophy student Colin Hendricks was amused to learn yesterday that recovering addict and “fucking brainless sheep” Gretchen Matherson celebrated six months…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Aries. Nobody cares that Josh ate your leftover take out. It was moldy, and he puked…
NEW YORK — Rapper and television personality Action “Mr. Wonderful” Bronson was brutally murdered on the streets of Queens last night during a long and…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Audience and band members alike were confused last night when punk band Lieutenant couldn’t decide to whom to dedicate one of their…
DENVER — Lumineers lead singer Wesley Schultz shattered his right foot last night in a frenzied stomping solo during a hometown concert, sources close to…
AKRON, Ohio — Local mom and punk scene staple Tilda Jensen was “just so happy, really” to have everyone back together at the same matinee…