Hardcore Tag Archives - Page 134

Eight Songs We’re Listening To This Week To Make Our Spotify Wrapped Look Cooler This Year

Corey Montgomery • October 29, 2023

There is nothing scarier than having bad taste in music. This is why your friends faint and go into convulsions…

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We Asked Billy Corgan to Rank These Pumpkin Flavored Drinks and He Told Us to Go Fuck Ourselves

Patrick Crooks • October 29, 2023

With October nearly in the books, we decided to take a look at some of the newer variety of pumpkin…

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Skeleton Shortage Forces Home Depot To Start Killing 12-Foot-Tall People

Patrick Sullivan • October 29, 2023

ATLANTA — The popularity of Home Depot’s “12-Foot-Tall Skeleton” reached a fever pitch this year, and employees of the megastore…

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Israeli Defense Minister Defends Decision to Bomb Civilians by Claiming Hamas Leaders Were Hiding Inside Local Children

The Hard Times Staff • October 28, 2023

GAZA CITY — Israel’s Defense Minister Yoav Gallant defended the continued bombing of Palestinian civilians by asserting Hamas leaders are…

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The Definitive Timeline of Events for Every Halloween Pub Crawl

James Knapp • October 28, 2023

Halloween: just one of many holidays that, upon reaching adulthood, is little more than an excuse to get absolutely shitfuck…

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Progressive White Women in Shambles After Taylor Swift Becomes Billionaire

Tim Sheard • October 28, 2023

NEW YORK – A recent Bloomberg report announced that Taylor Swift’s wealth is now an estimated $1.1 Billion, after her…

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Opinion: Your House Isn’t Haunted, It’s Just a Piece of Shit

Doug Kolic • October 28, 2023

Well, that concludes our paranormal investigation of your turn-of-the-century Victorian farmhouse. After using numerous spirit-locating devices and other elaborate ghost-searching…

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30 Movie Haunted Houses Ranked by How Much I Would Rather Live There Than Deal With My Shady, Class Traitor Landlord for Another Second

Dan Rice • October 27, 2023

Halloween is almost here and that doesn’t mean a damn thing to me, because every moment in my rundown slum…

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Aging Punk Torn Between Complaining About Fest Lineup, Hassle of Going to Fest, and Missing Fest

Anthony Carrano • October 27, 2023

New York — Local thirty-something punk Charles Murray is unable to settle on an official complaint about this year’s Fest,…

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How To Talk To Your Child About Jigsaw: Ranking The ‘Saw’ Films For Toddlers

Alex Vlahov • October 27, 2023

Congratulations on the newest addition to your family! As a new father, you face a classic dilemma: you want to…

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