LOS ANGELES — Recently vaccinated man Albert Kalomatsos posted his out-of-focus vaccine selfie weeks too late for it to even have a symbolic meaning, way…
Hold on to your butts because this is huge. The government has officially confirmed the existence of UFOs and, presuming there really are aliens out…
WASHINGTON — Far-right conspiracy theorist and representative for Georgia’s 14th congressional district, Marjorie Taylor Greene, exceeded previous fundraising efforts after posting a disturbing video in…
WOODLAWN, Md. — A recent government study indicates that fans of thrash metal will finally be eligible for Social Security benefits in the coming year,…
LOS ANGELES — Local punk band Palm Terror are under heavy scrutiny today, facing accusations from long-time fans of selling out for accepting a Payroll…
WASHINGTON — A shocking new investigation into U.S. military spending has revealed that the Pentagon is still pouring billions of dollars into the decades-old ROFLcopter…
If there’s one thing I’m sick of, it’s these out-of-touch bureaucrats in Washington telling me how to live my life. As far as I’m concerned,…
WASHINGTON — House and Senate Republicans agreed today that, rather than issue additional stimulus payments, Americans would be better off investing their previous stimulus in…
CHICAGO — An Avis car rental in Lincoln Park is trying to send the federal government a $50 cleaning bill today to remove the blood…
WASHINGTON — FBI Agent Raymond Kesler is desperately hoping to avoid assignment to the Bureau’s newly formed TikTok surveillance unit, which would involve following users…
WASHINGTON — The United States government is expected to announce a second relief package soon, one that will reportedly include provisions for the upcoming $70…
FLAVORTOWN, Calif. — A quality-of-life ordinance passed by Flavortown’s town council this week will guarantee residents monthly universal chili con carne payments beginning as soon…
Hey there! Why don’t you pony up over here while I order up a round of cold ones and tell you exactly why I don’t…
ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention urged Americans today to “Shut the fuck up for one goddamn second while we’re trying to…
WASHINGTON — Democrats have proposed historic legislation that would end the traditional “goodnight kiss” they previously gave all cops right after tucking them into bed…