God Tag Archives - Page 4

On the 7th Day God Rested, That Means There’s a Way To Kill Him

Dan Rice • February 23, 2021

“And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day…

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It’s Time To Put the Christ Back in Toyotathon

Dan Rice • January 18, 2021

Let’s go places, with our faith. Was it not Christ’s anger at the money changers during the cleansing of the…

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Jerry Falwell Jr. Agrees to Watch Wife Attend Couples Counseling

Jon Wood • November 6, 2020

GOODE, Va. — Disgraced former Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. agreed last week to watch his wife Becki attend…

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God Laughs as Man Puts “Final” in Exported File Name

Neil Floyd • October 12, 2020

HEAVEN — Our Heavenly Father was overwhelmed with laughter after watching Illinois native Bobby Kenworth use the word “final” in…

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God Uses McRib to Create Female Companion for Ronald McDonald

Jake Menez • October 4, 2020

WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Patrons at a local McDonalds restaurant were caught off guard earlier this week as God, alleged…

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Vengeful God Moves On to Next Thing Tumblr Holds Dear

Andy Holt • September 14, 2020

HIGHER REALM — Overcome with wrath and scorn, the ruler of the universe has reportedly taken the next step toward…

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Tragic: Hot Person Loves Jesus

Alex Salcido • September 2, 2020

PORTLAND, Ore. — Ridiculously attractive man and recent Milwaukee transplant Josh Billingsley left dozens disappointed today after confirming that he…

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God Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create Dudes

Jeremy Kaplowitz • March 29, 2020

HEAVEN — The almighty being who created the heavens and earth, God, admitted today that it’s actually kinda gay to…

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Local Church Graciously Opens Its Doors to “Springfield Thrash Fest 3: Fuck This Town to Death”

Pete GK • February 9, 2020

SPRINGFIELD, Ore. — The First Baptist Church graciously agreed to host “Springfield Thrash Fest 3: Fuck This Town to Death”…

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Line to Dog Heaven Backed Up Until Dog St. Peter Finishes Licking Own Balls

Krissy Howard • January 27, 2020

DOG HEAVEN — Several dogs awaiting entry into the big, grassy field in the sky are being forced to wait…

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