WASHINGTON — Outraged Republicans are spending millions in taxpayer money to send every child turned gay by Disney’s “Lightyear” a copy of 1986’s “Top Gun,”…
PIGEON FORGE, Tenn. — Local mother Julia Smith assumes that her completely asexual daughter Andrea is actually a lesbian who has yet to find the…
NEW YORK — Attendees of a dinner party hosted by Jon and James Adler were ignorant that the couple had engaged in a raw, depraved…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Clay Horton briefly paused fellating a complete stranger at a glory hole in an area gay bar to inquire if…
So I guess we’re not knocking anymore? Alright, so you caught me whacking it. You can stop freaking out. Let’s talk about this like adults.…
CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a lot more action if he…
It’s finally happening! This woman didn’t immediately recoil when my girlfriend and I approached her at the bar because we “really liked her vibe.” In…
If there’s one thing I hate, it’s people that lie about a sexual orientation that I don’t even really believe exists in the first place.…
NEW HOPE, Pa. — Local straight man Scott Stevenson was spotted acting weirdly jealous around lesbian woman and acquaintance at best, Samantha Rux, at a…
TRENTON, N.J. — Mafioso and “ordinary dry cleaners operator” Eugenio “Two-Bean Gene” Bianchi underwent an unexpected and surprising sexual awakening yesterday after receiving the kiss…
LOS ANGELES — Writers for the police procedural/workplace sitcom “You Have the Write to Remain Sassy” are debating how flamboyantly “gay” they should write a…
Spongebob Squarepants.The bubble-blowing, fun-loving, flamboyant sea sponge has been entertaining young children and stoned adults for over 20 years. But while Spongebob is fictional, a…
Thanks to the virtue signaling politics of Hollywood, it seems that gays in modern media are harder to avoid than ever. Just last week, I…
HEAVEN — The almighty being who created the heavens and earth, God, admitted today that it’s actually kinda gay to create guys if you think…
WEST HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Local man Brian Davis was shocked and surprised yet again last night that Backslide, the bar he visited for the sixth…