HARRISBURG, Pa. — Local man and alleged former drug addict Kyle Drury is “weirdly braggy” about the apparently darkest, most terrifying experience of his life…
Am I the future of Gonzo journalism? I sure hope so, because my behavior today endangered my marriage, traumatized my son, and may result in…
With the Verhoevian monster truck rally that is the Republican National Convention finally upon us, we here at The Hard Times decided that the only…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Crust punk Brad DelFino’s bathing attempt brought tragedy to his community yesterday, as sources report the 10-minute shower somehow left DelFino grosser…
SAN DIEGO — Thanks to the slowdown in day-to-day police activity, local officer Scott Martinson is now committing abuses of power against members of his…
I am so sick of being left out. Every year 4/20 rolls around and the entire country throws this huge celebration for everyone who smokes…
Congratulations on your decision to try hallucinogenic drugs! Now that you’ve dropped your bean, things are about to get pretty weird. You will soon lose…
So last week I was feeling under the weather: sniffling, a little dry cough, fever, you know the drill. Normally I would just ignore it,…
We’re at a crossroads here, and I don’t believe that social distancing is going to save us. Sure, I think the CDC has its heart…
COMMERCE CITY, Co. — A bag of drugs successfully made it through a concert security line early yesterday afternoon without the Phish fan in which…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Local straight edge man Matt Parrish reportedly thinks that his girlfriend of eight months is only interested in him for his clean,…
WHEELING, W.V. — Local woman and drug enthusiast Lindsey Cruz reportedly turned down the opportunity to trip balls for less than $4 last night, thanks…
The term “concept album” can be confusing. Sometimes it implies that there is a narrative story told through a collection of songs, similar to a…
I love The Flaming Lips and I always will. That will never change regardless of what drugs I’m on. Drugs, like music, open our minds…
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. — Local woman and “legitimate fucking moron who acts like she’s better than everyone all of a sudden” Wendy Montoya allegedly enacted some…