TULSA, Okla. — Local punk Eddie Abrams’s plans to retire are reportedly contingent upon his dying young and nothing else, according to a meeting with…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Local ex-boyfriend Clyde Satler caught his luckiest break since his separation from his former girlfriend yesterday, realizing that the death of her…
DENVER — Local man Joseph Adams stands accused today of making jokes about his friend Aaron Ianni much too soon after the latter’s untimely death,…
The genre defining career of Bob Dylan was brought to an abrupt and tragic end just moments ago after the legendary singer songwriter wandered into…
BRANSON, Mo. — Teddy Hitherton, the lead guitarist and backup vocalist of The Hitherton Family Jamboree Gang, announced yesterday that he would continue as a…
WASHINGTON — A harrowing new study by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency found that the encroaching threat of climate change will turn what would be…
CHICAGO — A beloved crust punk belonging to the Donovan family died last night on a United Airlines flight from San Francisco to Chicago after…
CINCINNATI — A group of punk house residents organized a large benefit show last weekend to raise money for their former roommate Mike Medina, who…
Erica, oh my God, no! Erica? ERICA??! Nonononono please come back to me. This can’t be real. My beautiful Erica, snatched from me in the…
An alarming and depressing new study found that Baby Boomers are still, for the most part, very much alive and selfishly they have no intention…
DANBURY, Conn. — Local woman Allison Moore brought some joy to an otherwise somber moment earlier today by delivering the eulogy for her late mother…
MILWAUKEE — Scorned martial artist Ryan Bradford attended a hardcore show at the Cat Box last night, seeking retribution against the crowdkiller who murdered his…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Mayhem cover band Freezing Moon were found dead only a day before they were supposed to headline a local black metal festival,…
JACKSON, Miss. — Loyal Smiths fan Jaden Woods is desperately pushing a conspiracy theory that the real Morrissey died decades ago, and the politically controversial…
HOUSTON — A holographic version of Mick Jagger waited patiently offstage yet again at a Rolling Stones concert last night, ready for the corporeal version…