FRESNO, Calif. — Beloved local crossing guard Leona Cardwell was fired Wednesday after committing her first error in nearly 20 years on the job when…
America is being destroyed by the liberal elite and it makes me absolutely sick. And it would’ve made my dad sick, too. After all, he…
OSPREY, Fla. — The Sarasota Friends School was pleased to announce this week that in addition to maintaining its status as one of the county’s…
PHILADELPHIA — Local bassist Aaron Scherzinger realized today that he only needs to murder two or three of his bandmates to be promoted to frontman,…
DYERSVILLE, Iowa — The magical “Field of Dreams” that once hosted the ghosts of baseball greats like “Shoeless” Joe Jackson and Mel Ott has been…
SANTE FE, N.M. — A coworker you loathed with every fiber of your being strutted around your funeral yesterday telling everyone you were “the greatest…
KEENE, N.H. — Local crystal healer and tarot card reader Elizabeth Stuart plans to donate her body to pseudoscience upon her passing, friends and spiritual…
We all remember Nirvana’s iconic album Nevermind, but often fail to pay tribute to all the babies that drowned to make the legendary cover. To…
In the wake of George Floyd’s murder at the hands of police officers, anti-cop sentiment has exploded across the cultural landscape. Protests calling for police…
LOS ANGELES — A woman protesting the killings of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd died of natural causes moments after she attacked a police baton…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Grieving son and PC gamer Eliott Ward reportedly booked funeral arrangements for his late mother with a $199 Corsair K95 RGB PLATINUM…
MUNCIE, Ind. — Sgt. William Porter, an active member of the Ku Klux Klan, was killed last night following a violent exchange with state police…
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Recently deceased Amazon warehouse worker Freddie Romero was named “Employee of the Month” yesterday for his tireless work ethic and refusing…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — The Google algorithm was reportedly itching to autofill the word “death” as user Marianne Gibbs typed in the name of a…
MONROE, Ohio — Following a time-honored Super Smash Bros. tradition to even the score between players, local gamer and mourning friend Dave Werner took a…