Jerrod Kingery
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EDGARTOWN, Mass. — Residents of the popular New England summer destination Martha’s Vineyard reported that a local coot and grizzled…
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Kevin Tit
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MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Career landlord and general piece of shit Tyler Simpson was devastated to learn today that he’s also…
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WILMINGTON, Del. — Democratic Presidential frontrunner Joe Biden and his staffers were surprised by the results of a recent COVID-19…
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Mark Roebuck
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WASHINGTON — The United States government is expected to announce a second relief package soon, one that will reportedly include…
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Tom Peters
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WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — Disgruntled, maskless consumer Rod Shockley was seen outside a local supermarket yesterday asking customers complying with the…
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Louie Aronowitz
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LOS ANGELES — Clothing brand JNCO released a line of protective face masks yesterday that effectively cover the wearer’s entire…
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Andrew Murphy
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ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention urged Americans today to “Shut the fuck up for one goddamn…
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Krissy Howard
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BOISE, Idaho — Local bored woman Mona Trevino has quietly re-followed all of the messy, oversharing friends on Facebook she…
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Mark Roebuck
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KANSAS CITY, Mo. — AMC has announced a tentative plan to reopen most of its theaters nationwide long enough to…
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Tyler Dark
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CINCINNATI — Over 100 professionally trained clowns tested positive for COVID-19 last week after riding together in the same tiny…
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