MENOMONEE FALLS, Wis. — Local youngster Phoebe Flax, age 9, is reportedly selling loose cigarettes alongside her delicious lemonade, according to teenagers enjoying the smooth,…
I wait tables at a French bistro in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. We’ve got a Michelin star, a killer take on steak-frites, and…
PASADENA, Calif. – Southern California native Zack Martin admitted his favorite summer activity is smoking cigarettes in his apartment with the AC absolutely blasting, sources…
NEW YORK — The annual “Punk Humanitarian of the Year” award was given to local drunk Rick Johnson who selflessly gave away over 35 loose…
Hey Dad, I know it’s been about 9 years since I last saw you but if you are out there I have something to tell…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Insufferable penny-pinching hipster Paul Sandor recently began the cost-cutting and dickhead-looking practice of rolling his own cigarettes, annoyed friends report. “Not…
PROVIDENCE— 38-year-old punk Richard Locke is trying to improve his physical fitness by switching to a brand of cigarettes heavy enough to double as a…
HOUSTON — Local vaper Chris Garcia finally hyped himself up enough to hang out with a group of cigarette smokers outside of a punk show…
MANDAN, N.D. — A new queer punk advent calendar became immensely popular when it advertised the fact each door contains a partially smoked cigarette, customers…
PHILADELPHIA — Researchers at Johns Hopkins University confirmed the average American punk consumes a half-dozen cigarettes in their sleep throughout the year, according to a…
PHOENIX — Local punk Frankie “Bullet” Higgins is quietly and privately working through the trauma of leaving his Yellow American Spirits sitting in the scorching…
PHILADELPHIA – Local venue The Jungle Room is having their most profitable summer season yet after introducing an enticing new frozen treat, sources who really…
GRAND FORKS, N.D. — Marjorie and Gerald Spitz attempted to lure their wayward crust punk son home using his two favorite things as bait —…
John Carpenter is one of the all-time greats. A legendary writer, filmmaker, and musician whose work includes classics like “Halloween” and “The Thing.” More importantly,…
American educators obsess over keeping children on par with the rest of the world in science and math, but what good are those tools without…