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Parents Force Teenage Son to Listen to Entire Red Hot Chili Peppers Discography as Punishment for Adding “Dani California” to Family Playlist

SEATTLE — Local parents Chris and Maggie Nelson forced their teenage son to listen to the entire Red Hot Chili Peppers discography as punishment for adding “Dani California” to the family Spotify playlist, sources confirmed.

“I know this is an unorthodox way of parenting but if you’re living in this household, you will not be a fan of any Chili Peppers. Not even the Dave Navarro era,” said the father of three. “He tried to hide a copy of ‘Blood Sugar Sex Magik’ under his mattress but we found it. We always do. We’ll see how he feels about this band after he’s listened to everything the band has released, including the greatest hits compilations, B-sides, and demos. Then we’ll move onto movies that Flea has appeared in. After this, he’ll never be drawn in by those mesmerizing bass hooks ever again.”

The 14-year-old admits the habit may have been difficult to break at first.

“All my other friends were doing it and I thought I looked cool when listening to this band,” said Travis Nelson. “Needless to say, it felt harmless at first, but after eight straight hours of this RHCP onslaught, I’m ready to avoid them entirely. Or at least only listen to them when I’m not home. I heard addiction was bad but I didn’t know it could be like this. ”

Julia Moores, family therapist and author of the best-selling book “Your Gen Z And You,” defended the parents.

“One afternoon when I was a teen I made the mistake of recording ‘It’s My Life’ by Bon Jovi onto the mixtape we kept in our minivan. My father was so upset, he turned the van around and raced home. I was not to leave the table until I had listened to every single one of their albums, beginning to end,” says Moores. “As upset as I was at the time, I know it worked. Ever since then I can’t even be in the same room when Bon Jovi is playing. If I’m at a party and it happens to come on, I just step outside. I can’t even experience second-hand Bon Jovi.”

At press time, the parents’ method worked so well that their teenage son doesn’t even have the urge to visit the state of California anymore.