NEW YORK — The New York City Police Department unveiled a new AI surveillance program that promised to help them arrest the wrong guy 70%…
SEATTLE — Local parents Chris and Maggie Nelson forced their teenage son to listen to the entire Red Hot Chili Peppers discography as punishment for…
One of my worst fears came true last night when I found a CD of Poison’s “Flesh & Blood” tucked under my son’s bed. My…
Jean-Paul Sartre once wrote “Hell is other people.” Well, it turns out that “other person” is former White Stripes frontman Jack White specifically. We sat…
AUSTIN, Texas — Texas lawmakers continued their draconian war on reproductive freedom by passing a new law that would immediately sentence any woman accused of…
Well, the only man busted us trying to make off with one of his precious Pall Malls, and true to form he’s being all old…
CHANDLER, Ariz. — Local Dad band Richie Thomas and the Ramblin’ Gamblers reprimanded booker Jason Turner last night for “screwing around with the thermostat,” uncomfortable…
ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Alleghany County Jail admitted today, in a shocking revelation, that the XBOX it allows prisoners to spend their “positivity” token to play…
DENVER — Tonya and Jim Belding caught their teenage son inhaling vaporized smoke from “some bewildering contraption” last week, according to sources close to the…
Sources close to the recently retired Tito Ortiz report that the father of three says he looks forward to spending his post-fight life with his…
WASHINGTON — President-elect Donald J. Trump continued a streak of controversial remarks today, tweeting a desire for strict punishment of anyone caught burning copies of…
SOUTH LAKE TAHOE, Calif. – Glenn Miller, lead vocalist in the blues-rock band Cold Miller and the Coolers, reportedly dismissed his audience and sent them…