I think of myself as a pretty generous guy, empathetic to the plight of my fellow man. So you can imagine my disgust when I…
LOS ANGELES — Reports indicate Drake gives an inappropriate amount of attention to Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown, who said in a now-viral interview…
CLEVELAND — Local child Dixie “Shortcake” Ross was utterly bewildered this week when her first day of kindergarten revealed a world unlike anything she’s ever…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Local father Bill Matheson has offered his children, family, friends, and modest acquaintances the opportunity to rip any of his 1,300…
MARLBORO, N.J. — Siblings Liam and Jenna Fry were stunned last night to find that their father’s old band, A Jet Black Static, still had…
ST. LOUIS — Five-year-old punk kindergartner Trisha Saunders drew attention this morning during an arts and crafts session for drawing a hand turkey with one…
PASADENA, Calif. — Straight edge parents Mike and Joy Harmon were ecstatic to learn that their newborn daughter, MacKaye, was born with three X chromosomes,…
PEORIA, Ill. — Local teen Billy Johnston was left in critical condition earlier today after being yelled at by a friend’s mother, according to multiple…
SEATTLE — A local couple expecting their first child began to baby-proof their lifestyle earlier this month, requiring major alterations to their array of facial…
DENVER — Tonya and Jim Belding caught their teenage son inhaling vaporized smoke from “some bewildering contraption” last week, according to sources close to the…
NEW YORK — Missing nine-year-old vegan child Hunter Morgan has still not been recovered, according to investigators, despite his family posting his photo on the packaging…
SEWARD, Okla. — Eight-year-old leukemia patient Violet Sanderson’s lifelong dream to “totally annihilate every last motherfucker in the pit” came true last week thanks to the hard work of…
PITTSBURGH — Local “grown-ass adult” Leslie Walton felt oddly compelled to impress her 12-year-old cousin Scott Burgess with her deep knowledge of punk subculture upon…
CINCINNATI, OH – Legendary New York hardcore outfit Gorilla Biscuits were executed at a show this Saturday when a child wandered onto the stage, prompting…
DENVER — Local punk couple Deanna and Paul Melun believe their 15-month-old son’s terrible taste in music is directly linked to the vaccinations their child received,…