PLAINSVILLE, Iowa — Local virgin Andy Wardell grew concerned yesterday that his future sexual intercourse may resemble the acts described in any of the Cannibal…
WASHINGTON — The Department of Defense began compiling a report this week aimed at assessing the viability of gender reveal “bombs” as effective weapons in…
NASSAU, N.Y. — Local parents and staunch anti-vaxxers Shannon and Dane Wittle will promote their youngest child Ayden to the position of oldest child following…
SALEM, N.H. — Local gamer father Jack Ruebens has announced he will stop attempting to forge a relationship with his son Chet, 12, after over…
NEW YORK — NYPD officer Carson Boucher could not record his wife giving birth to their first son last night due to his habit of…
MOORESTOWN, N.J. — Local mom Jerri Donalda is running out of polite euphemisms for describing her “free-spirited” daughter Anne in the annual family newsletter, worried…
DUBLIN, Ohio — Local creep Alex Gallarzo commented openly yesterday afternoon on the future sexuality of a six-year-old girl while in line at the Dublin…
DALLAS — Popular restaurant and entertainment chain Dave & Busters has announced a plan to upgrade all of its franchise locations, adding a tasty new…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Punk dad Tom Fogelberg watched proudly from the bleachers on Thursday night as his son Jaxon “completely and utterly sucked” at playing…
I think of myself as a pretty generous guy, empathetic to the plight of my fellow man. So you can imagine my disgust when I…
CLEVELAND — Local child Dixie “Shortcake” Ross was utterly bewildered this week when her first day of kindergarten revealed a world unlike anything she’s ever…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Local father Bill Matheson has offered his children, family, friends, and modest acquaintances the opportunity to rip any of his 1,300…
ST. LOUIS — Five-year-old punk kindergartner Trisha Saunders drew attention this morning during an arts and crafts session for drawing a hand turkey with one…