SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — Self-proclaimed author of the next great American novel Frank Trotsky recently came to the terrible realization that his “rock bottom” was going…
SEATTLE — Members of local metal band Brutal Stepson reportedly grew heated last night when they couldn’t agree on a setlist, about which the audience…
NEW YORK — Producers of “Fox & Friends” announced today that they will move the popular news show from its regular shooting location in Rockefeller…
SEATTLE — Real estate giant Zillow announced a new “punk” setting today for users that will allow potential home buyers to split the mortgage between…
CHICAGO — Local data analyst Jeanie Alvarez joined his coworker for a ride in her car last week, leaving him with an unexpected, everlasting feeling…
COVINGTON, Ky. — Neophyte bassist Braxton Reynolds came to the startling realization last week that his metronome apparently jumps wildly in tempo while he practices,…
LOS ANGELES — The hit animated sitcom “Family Guy” is celebrating 20 seasons this year as America’s top choice for something to have on in…
ANTIOCH, Calif. — Local punk Dom Medico realized yesterday that his so-called “glory days” that are now far in his rearview mirror were mostly boring…
RIO RANCHO, N.M. — A single song by prog-rock legends Rush was mistaken for an entire prog-rock album by radio listener Melissa Chavez, according to…
RYE, UNITED KINGDOM — Legendary musician and founding member of the Beatles Paul McCartney admitted today that he wished someone would occasionally ask him about…
NEW YORK — Fans of indie rock legends The Strokes collectively agreed that the boring nature of the band’s newest album “The New Abnormal” from…
GENEVA — Scientists at the European Organization for Nuclear Research discovered yesterday that Iron Maiden’s 8:46-long “Brighter Than a Thousand Suns” contains a surprisingly decent…
LOS ANGELES — Local gamer Patty Kemp reportedly had a difficult time deciding how to entertain herself yesterday evening, with exciting choices including playing a…
KANSAS CITY — Reports are coming in that the board game you spent $60 on that your friends never want to play recently launched an…
NEW YORK — Local man Bryan Watson spent his 28th birthday last week quarantined from friends and family due to the COVID-19 pandemic, but didn’t…