NEW ORLEANS — Local man who either looks good for his age or bad for his age Benjamin Button revealed that his political outlook is…
WASHINGTON — Congress signed a last-minute funding measure to narrowly avoid a government shutdown today after a crowd gathered on Capitol Hill began chanting “one…
WASHINGTON — The White House has announced that Air Bud will lead talks with the Taliban because there’s nothing in the rulebook that says he…
WASHINGTON — Centrist Democrats across the country expressed relief at seeing President Joe Biden dehumanize refugees with more decorum than his predecessor, sources reported. “After…
PHILADELPHIA — All shows featuring tough guy hardcore bands are now on indefinite hiatus as musicians within the genre prepare to head back to Afghanistan,…
WASHINGTON — The US economy showed signs of rebounding after it added 943,000 new opportunities for workers to be exploited by employers in July, according…
WASHINGTON — President Biden signed a sweeping new bill into law earlier today which will finally address the issue of student loan debt relief by…
Despite being a major campaign promise, student debt cancellation of any kind was noticeably absent from President Biden’s recently proposed $6 trillion national budget. The…
WASHINGTON — Prominent conservatives nationwide are beginning to inquire if they are still morally obligated to listen to Ariel Pink after the artist was spotted…
WASHINGTON — President Biden urged American citizens to peacefully allow law enforcement to continue murdering them following a spike in shootings of unarmed Black people…
DENVER — An unlikely alliance formed between a conservative uncle and socialist niece thanks to their shared distaste for the Democratic party during a recent…
ATLANTA — Bass players across the country are the only adults over the age of 16 who are not currently eligible for vaccinations, with the…
UNITED STATES — Landlords across the United States approved plans today to raise rent by $1,400 this April, to the consternation of their tenants, incredulous…
WASHINGTON — Newly-inaugurated President Joe Biden is extremely concerned that “The Netflix” won’t know to send his rental DVDs to his new address at the…
WASHINGTON — A sea of Trump supporters with the goal of stopping Joe Biden’s inauguration created chaos by building a fully functional police station just…