Patrick Coyne
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August 19, 2020
PORTLAND, Maine. — Local woman Dani Pineda has desperately hidden her humanity from her live-in boyfriend Aaron Adams by not…
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Jimmy Adamson
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July 26, 2020
CHICAGO — Local woman Lilly Choi’s depression has devolved to the point that she has stopped looking behind the shower…
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BROOKLYN — Quarantined punk Lex Sykes took to his own bathroom last week to practice his vandalism skills due to…
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Doug Francisco
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May 7, 2020
NEW YORK — Quarantined high school bully Evan Maddox, under stay-at-home orders for the past three weeks, gave himself swirlies…
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Andy Holt
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April 13, 2020
LINCOLN, Neb. — After being laid off from his job at a regional cardboard box supply company last week, local…
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John Dixon
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March 26, 2020
TOKYO — Popular manga Brave Fighter’s Journey was recently put on hiatus by its publisher as writer and artist Okobo…
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Michael De Toffoli
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January 9, 2020
BERKELEY, Calif. — Traveling gutter punk-turned inspirational teacher Marcus “Guru Hoagie” Sanders is directing followers worldwide to treat their bodies…
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Jessica Carreiro
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December 30, 2019
LOS ANGELES — Local showgoer Hannah Bishop left Tower Bar’s only bathroom late last night in a state many witnesses…
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Patrick Coyne
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December 29, 2019
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Amateur GG Allin impersonator, and introverted man that has no business being on any stage, Logan…
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Tom Peters
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October 11, 2019
TACOMA, Wash. — Local music fan Don Glenswig was elated last night to discover a long line for the bathroom…
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