CLEVELAND — Local frontman and full-time IT specialist Kirk Lawson alerted members of his band Nuggitzz that they would once again need to change their…
HOBOKEN, N.J. — The members of local emo band Featherhoof were reportedly overwhelmed with gratitude when longtime fan and friend David Ketwaller remarked that they…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local metalcore band The Demise of Saturn asked scumbag show promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham to abandon traditional currency and begin ripping them…
ST. LOUIS — Audience members were upset at a local punk show last night when touring band Metallicunt revealed themselves to have a token girl…
LOS ANGELES — Creators of the 2021 film reboot “Dune” were surprised to see a new generation of hardcore kids using references from the movie…
TAMPA, Fla. — Norwegian black metal band Emyn Arnen were seen wandering into a JCPenney store after spotting a prominent Black Friday sign in the…
SEATTLE — Local amateur groupie Sarah Pepper is reportedly horrified after accidentally sleeping with the deceased body lying behind a local bar’s PA system. “I…
WALTHAM, Mass. — A recent study published by the New England Journal of Medicine found that women who date men over the age of 40…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Dan Levitton, lead vocalist for touring hardcore band Weekend Proposal, told the “motherfuckers” in the back to “just, like, shut up for…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local drummer Ethan Chambers was buzzing with excitement last night just before unveiling his new drum solo, specifically intended for soundcheck and…
CHICAGO — Touring steampunk band The Death Gaskets’s frustrated venue staff when their tour rider was revealed to be nothing more than an extensive list…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Members of crust funk band the Salt Garglers were desperately trying to repurchase their impounded econoline van at a civil forfeiture auction…
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — Local punk house cat The Little Guy is reportedly furious at the return of house shows to the area and the loud,…
BLAINE, Wash. — Local band with at least one felony, Green Stream, will not be playing their scheduled Vancouver and Calgary shows of a current…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined” the genre for her, but…