Bobby Korec
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CONSHOHOCKEN, Pa. — Local black metal band Nocturnal Defacement announced their public support yesterday for the “greater of two evils”…
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Dan Kozuh
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IRVINE, Calif. — Fastidious and strict Irvine Public High School Principal Gene Jensen was assaulted at work yesterday by the…
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John Merrifield
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local 32-year-old Brendan Muller decided today that he will stand perfectly still whenever he is in the…
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Erin McLaughlin
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HYANNIS, Mass. — Local man Kenny Gomez was outed as a “fucking liar” on Tuesday evening upon telling a pharmacy…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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GREENSBORO, N.C. — Local gamer Harry Olsen, who has sucked shit at every single video game he has ever played,…
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Henrik Persson
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LONDON — Heavy metal legends Iron Maiden have launched a limited edition vintage wine, “The Number of the Yeast,” which…
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Caitlin Chung
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GREAT FALLS, Va.— Local dad Nathan Sweeney created a bag of bag of bags, dumping multiple plastic bag-filled bags into…
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James Knapp
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MINNEAPOLIS — Local jokester Jeff Kessler’s impersonation of acclaimed actor Chistopher Walken last night was met with stunned silence, as…
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Louie Aronowitz
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LOS ANGELES — As the promise of “six seasons and a movie” finally comes to fruition, producers of the upcoming…
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John Danek
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MINNEAPOLIS — Law enforcement officials have renamed the interrogation tactic “Good Cop, Bad Cop” to “Accomplice Cop, Murderer Cop” to…
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