HANOVER, Pa. — Local Nazi, Kyle Rumbley, is unsure how to tell his family he voted for Joe Biden after Pennsylvania flipped blue, ultimately securing…
MEQUON, Wis. — Online friends and otherwise total strangers Oscar Bean and Freddie Wagner have no idea how to end a Messenger conversation they initiated…
WASHINGTON — Local anarchist and socially awkward person Cynthia Mejia paced outside of The World Bank for nearly two hours this morning, unsure how and…
Junior high is a difficult age when even the slightest embarrassment can challenge a young man’s development of confidence in my, I mean his, adult…
SAN FRANCISCO — Lifelong straight edger Timothy Sharp tipped $5 on a glass of tap water last night, thanks to his ignorance of bar etiquette…
DENVER — Local man Joseph Adams stands accused today of making jokes about his friend Aaron Ianni much too soon after the latter’s untimely death,…
DALLAS — Four local musicians pooled their money together Friday night to experience a “Leaving Your Friend’s Show Early”-themed escape room, baffled sources report. “Seeing…
BROOKLYN — Two patients waiting in the Dr. Smiles dentist office were seen wearing the same shirt featuring Canadian tech-death band Cryptopsy, but showed no…
PHOENIX — Local 30-year-old Arun Sharma tested today whether or not he can use expletives in front of his parents, as he’s still unsure if…
NEW PALTZ, N.Y. — Local man Aaron Mendle simply wet his hair in the sink yesterday and wrapped a towel around his waist when he…
SARASOTA, Fla — Local man Daniel Mulrennan made a potentially friendship-damaging mistake moments ago, blurting out, “I can’t make it” before his friend even said…
NEW YORK — Shortly after telling responding officers they’d never see him again, bank robber Austin Linders embarrassingly found himself last night fleeing the scene…
BAR HARBOR, Maine — Local teenager Russ Mitchell, Jr. was uncomfortable and unsure where to direct his gaze yesterday after hearing his father say, “I…
My acquaintances’ girlfriends are all such sweet girls. I always give them the respect a lady deserves by being polite, including them in the conversation,…
BOSTON — Local straight edger Austin Evans quietly formed an undying, eternal bond at a party last night with Tugger Q. Bingley, the cat cared…