Zach Russell
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NEW YORK — Local man David Treyborn realized today, while testing the flow of the new bidet attachment he purchased…
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Jerrod Kingery
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BURBANK, Calif. — Production on the FOX reality show “LEGO Masters” was halted indefinitely today after some asshole stuck all…
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Ted Pillow
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Get the hell out of my way! I just got here an hour late and I’m shitfaced but it’s my…
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Rob Walker
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WASHINGTON — Legendary metal band Gwar asked the staff of NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert series if “they were ready to…
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Tom Peters
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WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — Medallion Social Club regular Andrew Vanscoy grew irate late Friday evening with jovial bar patrons he somehow…
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Ella Gale
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LOS ANGELES — Local goth Jenny Carlisle successfully subverted cosmetic trends earlier this week by having her asshole professionally darkened…
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Dan Kozuh
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You Americans with your neutered sensibilities and PC culture. I’ll tell you one thing, my behavior wouldn’t get me kicked…
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Kyle Erf
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In a culture dominated by social media and black-or-white arguments about how the world should work, this man is carving…
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Eric Navarro
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Judgments based on sight alone are detrimental to our society. I am personally persecuted on a daily basis all because…
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M.J. Amory
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SEATTLE — A scheduled performance by Father John Misty was canceled last night after the singer began a long rant…
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