Dan Luberto
•
NORWALK, Conn. — Local punk and low-ranking member of his friend group Brandon Smith is reportedly completely unaware of his…
Read More →
Erin McLaughlin
•
HYANNIS, Mass. — Local man Kenny Gomez was outed as a “fucking liar” on Tuesday evening upon telling a pharmacy…
Read More →
Ben Friedman
•
MINNEAPOLIS — Local good boy Valentino was disgusted and appalled last week after an afternoon at his favorite brewery was…
Read More →
Tyler Dark
•
MODESTO, Calif. — Local music fan Kenny Dillinger noted publicly yesterday that he is happy to listen to anything except…
Read More →
Chuck Kowalski
•
WASHINGTON — Billion-dollar event company Ticketmaster lobbied before Congress yesterday to add a “barely noticeable” $790-million service fee to the…
Read More →
Molly Vossler
•
WASHINGTON — Griffin Miller, a career contrarian and lifelong advocate of The Devil, has been tapped as Communications Director for…
Read More →
John Danek
•
LINCOLN, Neb. — Researchers at The University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s Department of Psychology have found that setup phrases such as, “News…
Read More →
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local marketing associate and Black person Imani Phillips found yesterday that her iPhone X’s storage is almost…
Read More →
Kyle Stanley
•
VAN NUYS, Calif. — Celebrated actress and seemingly constant indie cinema presence Chloe Sevigny was seen yesterday hanging around the…
Read More →
LOS ANGELES — Local woman Mattie Foster, known for her drunken outbursts at shows, is now simply loud and wasted…
Read More →
