TUCSON, Ariz. — A local show’s merch line was held up last night for more than 11 minutes when aging punk rocker John “The Don”…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — 33-year-old house painter and disillusioned ska enthusiast Brady Taylor took a Sharpie to the white boxes on his checkered Vans Slip-Ons…
The Simpsons have predicted everything.They predicted President Trump, Disney purchasing Fox, NSA spying, grease thieving, three eyed fish mutations, and numerous others. It’s insane how…
WASHINGTON — Tickets and merchandise for the joint Def Leppard/Journey tour will be completely covered by Medicare, according to a statement released today by the federal…
CINCINNATI — 32-year-old claims adjuster Aaron Madson spent the past week listening to classic nü-metal alone in his car “as a joke” for hours before…
LANCASTER, Pa. — 25-year-old punk Ricky Lewis called a press conference on Friday to admit that he had lost his grasp on popular music well…
LANSING, Mich. — Local man Jerry Schmidt celebrated his birthday yesterday, and with it, another year of his favorite music and movies losing their cultural…
ATLANTA -— Stubborn, delusional punk Drew Blaney, who has lost a third of his mohawk due to his receding hairline, will not fix his increasingly…
BRIGHTON, Mass. — 46-year-old punk Cameron Matthews is now willing to expand his musical horizons and give some new music from 2004 a listen, according…
PHILADELPHIA — A long-winded and confusing rant last night about gender identity by legendary hardcore frontman Bobbie Bryant was likely meant to be positive, despite…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Butthole Canyon frontman Richie Butthole increasingly regrets his chosen stage name, now that he is approaching his mid-30s, sources close to the…
NEW ORLEANS — Local goth Peter “Draven” McGinty, burdened by his age and weight, has surgically removed his lower two ribs to alleviate his struggles…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — The Offspring frontman Dexter Holland has a new food-related venture: Vino Anciano, a wine that will become increasingly stagnant over time,…
NIAGARA FALLS, N.Y. — Three days after his 34th birthday, computer programer Adam White admitted his growing concern that he’s now “too old to die…
TUCSON, ARIZ. — Aging punk John “The Don” Bergeron excitedly eyed a single, empty chair during a show at McCluskey’s Saloon last Friday evening, several…