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Opinion: 40 Is the New 20 if You’re Still Not Ready for Any Responsibility Whatsoever

Let’s be real age is just a number. What’s great is that it can be any number you want, depending on how much responsibility you’re still not yet comfortable with.

I mean, you know what they say: 40 is the new 20. As a 42-year-old, my lack of financial security and massive student loan debt couldn’t agree more. Sure, I can start putting away some money for the future if I want, but I’m just not ready to settle down and start a savings account. Besides, I’m far too busy living life to the fullest, which means getting hammered at a Chili’s on a Tuesday. You only live once, right?

And yeah, I guess having a kid would officially make me feel 40. But again, responsibilities give me the absolute creeps. So do children, now that I think about it. Also, my parents used to be 40 and have a kid, and I’m not about to follow in their footsteps.

Anyway, while all my friends from high school show off their families, careers, and houses on social media, I’m over here showing the world the clever memes I didn’t come up with, but pass off as my own anyway. Honestly, I can’t imagine how jealous they are of my dozens of Instagram followers despite how completely fulfilled they look all the time online. Suckers!

Don’t get me wrong. I definitely don’t look 20 anymore, even though I’m doing everything I can to fight the brutal effects to aging. It actually takes a lot of work to look your exact biological age.

But seriously, the older I get, the more I theoretically stay the same age. Anyone can do it, too. I find it’s best to pick the age where you had your best year, and just keep riding that out until you die. After all, life is short. You wouldn’t want to waste it on responsibilities.

As long as I live to be 112, everything should pan out fine.