OAKLAND, Calif. — Senior Software Engineer Taylor Masters added multiple patches to his Patagonia vest in hopes of blending in at a DIY punk show…
NEW YORK — Local man Roland Peachneck was reportedly shocked and disappointed that his “loser” roommates had nothing better to do on a Saturday night…
NEW YORK — Local man Brian Crowley issued a press release begging anyone he encounters to please stop recommending television shows for him to watch…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local moron Griff Bradshaw made frequent frustrated attempts to gain entry to the venue bathroom you were, unity recently, peacefully defecating in,…
SEATTLE – Local punk and wheelchair user Brandon Spires expressed his desire to crowdsurf without it turning into a free for all of people taking…
MINNEAPOLIS — British comedy fan Gary Snell is in shock after his date failed to pick up on his reference to the 1980 sitcom “Has…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Spouses Josh and Natasha Taylor are reportedly in a losing battle for control of their sex swing — a purchase made to…
ABERDEEN, U.K. – A walkathon across Scotland organized by rock duo The Proclaimers was abruptly canceled after volunteers positively identified the body of the 10th…
CHICAGO — Ravenous music fan Terry Manns feels a wistful sense of melancholy for the days when music publication Pitchfork.com would take an absolute shit…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Eric Halverson was relieved to see his new goth girlfriend and his conservative father bond over their shared love of…
PONTIAC, Mich. — Several local college seniors impressed guests by enhancing their party’s epicness with the presence of a barnyard animal in their house, thoroughly…
KINGSTON, N.Y. — Local woman Kelly Atkins is frustrated with her current apartment, as the listing promised her access to laundry in the basement of…
PITTSBURGH – Local man Jack “JJ” Jenkins was shocked to find out the “new” album from his favorite band Deer Stalker just turned 10 years…
SARATOGA SPRINGS, N.Y. — Local lesbian Molly Roth recently completed the solemn task known in her community as the “changing of the guard” by putting…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Reactionary governor Ron DeSantis signed a controversial law limiting all use of public school TV carts to only showing D.W. Griffith’s 1915…