EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — A longtime inhabitant of the drywall space behind the practice area of indie garage band Oyster Boys audibly requested a song at…
BALTIMORE, Md. — 23-year-old Olympic champion Erica Webb’s triumphant return home was filled with fanfare and excitement as she can’t wait to pawn her newly-won…
CANTON, Conn. — A local canine owner was stunned to see that his neighborhood’s dog park was completely overrun by opossums owned by dedicated members…
WASHINGTON — Presumptive Democratic nominee Kamala Harris attempted to boost her perception as a “cool aunt” by announcing that if elected she will let junior…
TIVERTON, R.I. — Local dental hygienist Barbara McCall is bewildered why her years-long campaign of criticizing Donald Trump on Facebook for his comically tiny hands…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Two rival drum circles were forced to reconcile their differences and form one civilized unemployment line, sources willing to get close…
DENVER — A multinational non-renewable energy corporation is attempting to pin all of Earth’s environmental problems on an individual from Colorado, according to sources who…
LOS ANGELES — The newest installment of the classic punk and heavy metal documentary series “Decline of the Western Civilization” will feature a telling look…
You can’t turn on the damn TV without seeing ‘those’ people pouring over the border these days. They stomp their muddy feet on the doormat,…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at Harvard University determined that 100% of Millennials suffer from PTSD linked to exposure to the website rotten.com, confirmed sources who…
REDDING, Calif. – Former junior high bully and antagonist of a 1990 anti-drug PSA Ryan Telley is reportedly still pushing handfuls of pre-rolled joints onto…
NEW YORK — Former President Donald Trump charmed conservative podcast host Grant Victoria with a story about the time he helped five innocent men get…
NEW YORK — Mets fans were encouraged to “strap in” this past weekend when the stadium organist treated them to an impromptu and seemingly endless…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — A recent ancestry report revealed that a small portion of hardcore legend Henry Rollins’ DNA could be traced back to a species…
NEW YORK — Independent Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reminded voters that he also keeps a monkey with a gun next to his bed…