In the words of Steve Miller and his band, time keeps on slipping into the future. Do you want to feel old? Well, guess what?…
AUSTIN, Texas — Hardcore band Mindforce appeared on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast after they were mistaken for a brain-boosting supplement, according to confused, kettlebell-curling…
VANCOUVER, Wash. – Local office worker and self-proclaimed feminist Bryce Coquet loudly reprimanded a female coworker for having the audacity to mention that she had…
POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — A group of audiophiles and cinephiles met this week to compete against each other for the title of worst -phile, confirmed sources…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local man Seth Beaudreault achieved the longest health kick of any American trying to eat better, breaking the world record with…
CANCÚN, Mexico — Junior Texas Senator Ted Cruz used a small portion of his Frequent Fleeing Texas Storm Miles reward points to upgrade from business…
NEW YORK — Local 36-year-old loser Ryan Buttermyer reportedly maintained a heroic ten-minute wait period before confirming he’d be at a party, despite having absolutely…
Hand to god, this thing was a steal. At least I thought it was. 2001 Pontiac Aztek GT. 40k miles. One owner. Spotless Carfax report.…
SWEETHAVEN VILLAGE — Mosh pitters of a recent Harbored Frustrations show were apprehensive when they noticed Popeye in the pit within grabbing distance of a…
BOSTON — Players, coaches, and administrators for the Boston Celtics celebrated their record-breaking 18th title and claimed the victory was revenge for the city of…
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Local punk outfit Scrotal Revolt recently began opening shows with a formal acknowledgment of guitar parts they’ve stolen and appropriated for their…
I’m so tired of these supposed healthcare professionals thinking that they’re qualified to judge me just because of their fancy “degrees” and industry-recognized “expertise.” How…
BENSON, Ariz. — Keith Donner, a 45-year-old autobody technician, believes he is one of the fabled “good guys with a gun” while others often describe…
Well, it’s summertime again and that means it’s time for sun and fun and reminiscing about actually having the summer off where every day doesn’t…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local 68-year-old Glen Darrington reportedly couldn’t wait to tell his server how much he “hated” his dinner while dining at the Cracker…