DANBURY, Conn. — Guitar Center employee Gavin Keane was demoted earlier today to a post at Tambourine Center for failing to show any musical competence,…
MILWAUKEE — Short Division guitarist Steve Hernandez has started a true crime podcast to share his findings as he investigates who is changing the settings…
TACOMA, Wash. — Female employees at Crammr App headquarters discovered earlier this week that their respective periods all synced to Pink Floyd’s iconic album Dark…
PASADENA, Calif. — Straight edge parents Mike and Joy Harmon were ecstatic to learn that their newborn daughter, MacKaye, was born with three X chromosomes,…
CHICAGO — A standoff is brewing between a local improv troupe and their audience, as Fancy Bananas have refused to begin their evening of comedy…
MONTREAL — Canadian post-rock collective Godspeed You! Black Emperor treated fans today to a special edition of their newest song title, releasing a 280-page hardcover…
LOS ANGELES — Singer/guitarist John O’Neill is finally motivated to move to Los Angeles after being blacklisted from Seattle’s punk scene for predatory behavior toward…
HOUSTON — Drummer Philip McNeill announced earlier today he plans to learn enough conversational Spanish to navigate his band’s entire upcoming Brazilian tour by himself,…
DALLAS — Huffing aficionado Garrett Brass tactfully broke down for uninitiated newcomers the complexities of a can of spray paint he found in his grandfather’s…
LOS ANGELES — A leaked script of the just announced The Lord Of The Flies reboot revealed that, despite starring exclusively women, it still managed…
LOS ANGELES — Described by loved ones as “charismatic,” “fun,” “unpredictable,” and “always the life of the party,” Clark Tomlinson passed away last night at…
WASHINGTON — A full 100 percent of people in your life and around the country remember that time you accidentally called your teacher “Mom,” a…
NEW YORK — A group of middle-aged, financially stable marketers put their differences aside late last night and reunited their old garage brand following a…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Homebrew beer connoisseur Ira Rose succeeded again last week in ranking all local homebrews he tasted from worst to somehow even worse,…
Nowadays, it seems like everybody wants to claim they’re a ’90s kid. AS IF! We were getting sick of all these fake ’90s kids so…