Aries (March 21-April 19) Don’t let judgement hold you back this week, Aries. Just because you’re 35 doesn’t mean you can’t go into Hot Topic…
FAIRVIEW, Kan. — Local mother Deanna Jones dropped off her eldest son Jason in the parking circle of Fairview High School this morning for the…
DENVER — The Instagram profile of user Viola Todd is starting to show the telltale signs of a slow, sinister transformation into a meme account,…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — 33-year-old house painter and disillusioned ska enthusiast Brady Taylor took a Sharpie to the white boxes on his checkered Vans Slip-Ons…
We live in a fatist culture. Whether it is magazine covers showing impossibly thin bodies, discrimination on dating websites, or people looking at me in…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local mother and hi-fi aficionado Peggy Lowell had a multitude of criticisms regarding her son’s tone following a family spat on Sunday…
NORMAL, Ill. — The recent crackdown on plastic straws across the U.S. has led to a surge in 3D printed drinking paraphernalia, according to a…
MUNCIE, Ind. — Beastie Boys devotees and dedicated couple John Patterson and Alyssa Tully allegedly finish each other’s sentences when communicating between themselves and anyone…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Your leadership skills will be of use this week, Aries. Tell your frontman that you guys are playing the song you…
GILMAN HOT SPRINGS, Calif. — Every single member of the Church of Scientology were found last week to be undercover documentary filmmakers who only joined…
WAYNE, N.J. — World-renowned MILF Stacy’s mom, made famous by rock band Fountains of Wayne, died suddenly last night due to a heart attack at…
MILWAUKEE — Iconic motorcycle manufacturer Harley-Davidson held a press conference this morning, announcing plans to build fixed gear motorcycles to gain favor with a new,…
We live in a progressive time. The days of mediocre white men dominating the media are coming to an end. As a straight white male…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local punk Ramon Dixon told himself this morning that the insect he caught crawling across his bed, and that is “definitely responsible”…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local punk Ramon Dixon has officially decided he’ll “give it a few days” before telling his roommates about the weird bites found…