WESTFIELD, Ind. — Local man Tom Simmons remains totally perplexed as to why everyone who watched “Squid Game” found the idea of getting shot at…
PINOLE, Calif. — Emergency Medical responders arrived at the site of a psychiatric distress call late Wednesday to find Sheriff’s Deputies already wildly firing their…
LOS ANGELES – Blink-182’s virtuoso drummer, Travis Barker, shed a singular tear upon hearing that upstart pop-punk band Girlsack released their first single “Get Sniffed”…
NEWBURGH, N.Y. — A romantic day-date activity was undergone and endured by a local couple early yesterday morning, sources who are glad to be back…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — A skeleton mistaken for a seasonal decoration at a local library is suspected to be an architectural ploy designed to prevent houseless…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Dan Levitton, lead vocalist for touring hardcore band Weekend Proposal, told the “motherfuckers” in the back to “just, like, shut up for…
MANHATTAN — Local heroes in a half shell The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are reportedly “totally bummed out” after rising rent forced them to vacate…
ELDERSBURG, Md. — The appeal of joining a “throuple” for local woman Denise Hubbard was completely obliterated by prospective partners Micah Herrera and Lorenzo Cummings’…
CINCINNATI — 26-year-old punk Bobby Larson is now listing a local 7-Eleven cashier as his only emergency contact in lieu of close friends or relatives,…
WASHINGTON — Local mom Melissa Weir traveled to the Capitol this week to confront Frances Haugen, the Facebook whistleblower, demanding to know why the eating…
BOSTON — 34-year-old Ryan Conway was seemingly unaware that the similarly aged couple he was talking with throughout the night were just there to chaperone…
LAREDO, Texas – Shockwaves of mistrust ripped through punk band The Distracted after a member’s significant other admitted to hooking up with the band’s Roland…
ROSWELL, Ga. — Local high school theater teacher and known eccentric, Jean St. John, is highly doubtful about pulling off the musical ‘Brigadoon’ for this…
HIGHLAND PARK, Ill. — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan surprised onlookers when he dramatically removed a bald cap to reveal a full head of luxurious…
PORTLAND — Local punk and hopeful train hopper Marc Harcourt is still currently standing on a set of railroad tracks as he had no real…