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Beautiful Sunny Day Overshadowed by Mounting Pressure to “Go Do Something”

SEATTLE — Local homebody Jenny Wellmeyer experienced generalized anxiety due to the overwhelming pressure to go do something outside while the weather was absolutely gorgeous, sun-kissed sources confirmed.

“This must be what peer pressure looks like as an adult because I’ve already received several assertive texts from friends asking me to go on a hike, ride bicycles, or get day drunk with them in the park,” said Wellmeyer before changing from her nighttime pajama pants into her daytime pajama pants. “Honestly, all I want to do is finish my ‘Great British Bake-Off’ reruns in complete darkness all by myself with the curtains shut to block the sun from creating an annoying glare on my TV. Ideally, the weather would be totally miserable more days than not, so I can focus on things that I actually want to do.”

Friends of Wellmeyer wanted no such part of her staying indoors on a day like today.

“It’s not every day you get to lather yourself with sunscreen while uncomfortably squinting your way through the day because the sun is slowly burning out your eyes,” said longtime pal Jessica Woodsworth. “There are only so many thousands of beautiful days in your lifetime, so you absolutely must take advantage when a frequent opportunity like this presents itself. Or else you might one day be on your deathbed regretting all the things you could’ve done when it was 75 degrees and sunny out. Seriously, you can watch TV when you’re dead.”

Experts on weather patterns say the social pressure put on people to enjoy nice weather is creating dangerous situations.

“This is a legitimate concern for people who tune in to watch the weather report,” said meteorologist Morgan Palmers of the KARO-7 Eyewitness News team. “You have no idea how many angry letters we get when the forecast calls for several consecutive nice days. As a result, we have to throw in a scattered shower day every now and then to break up the gorgeous weather and give the public a sense of relief despite the data suggesting otherwise. Sure, this means we technically get our forecast wrong, but it’s worth it in order to serve the public in a positive way.”

At press time, Wellmeyer had begrudgingly accepted a friend’s request to go for a walk, but was relieved when her friend had to cancel at the last minute.