Opinion Archives - Page 29

Opinion: Any Dog Is a Therapy Dog if You Steal Its Anxiety Medication

Dom Turek • January 11, 2021

Some people say a dog is a man’s best friend, but with a little maneuvering and a stolen prescription pad,…

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Opinion: John Lydon a Bit of the Ol’ Poshy Bitty Bollards Then, Innit?

Dicky Stock • January 7, 2021

Welly welly well I've just come from Tussy the butcher with a bindle. Nearly ways a stone when coupled with…

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If the COVID Vaccine Was Actually Safe, I’d Be Able To Buy It at Walmart Like My Guns

Jus Kaplan • January 4, 2021

Everything this simple man's ever needed in life can be found at my local Walmart. Hell, even if I were…

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Opinion: Unfriend Me RIGHT NOW if You’re Literally Yolanda Saldívar, the Woman Who Shot Selena

Jimmy Adamson • January 1, 2021

If you are reading this right now and your name is Yolanda Saldívar… FUCK. YOU. You literally MURDERED beloved singer/songwriter/spokesperson/businesswoman/…

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Opinion: I Think I’m Just Gonna Call It a Night

Dan Kozuh • December 31, 2020

We have had fun tonight with our festivities and frivolities and, while your proposition to keep this night going is…

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Opinion: If “Die Hard” Is a Christmas Movie, Why Doesn’t Bruce Willis Marry Alan Rickman at the End

John Sevigne • December 25, 2020

The debate over whether or not "Die Hard" is a Christmas movie has escalated over the last few holiday seasons…

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Will It Even Feel Like Christmas if I Can’t Sit With My Family in Total Silence While My Father Watches TV and Drinks Bourbon?

James Knapp • December 24, 2020

The Covid-19 pandemic has drastically altered how we celebrate special occasions with our loved ones and now that's it's impacted…

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I’m Not Just Selling You a Home, I’m Selling You a Venue

Yancy Lee Crawford • December 18, 2020

Buying your first home is one of the biggest decisions of your life. It's important that you choose the home…

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I’m Sorry I Didn’t Respond, I Suck at Communicating and Have No Desire To Ever Change

John Danek • December 17, 2020

Oh my God, I am so sorry that I somehow missed that text! I mean, I didn’t miss it. I…

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Opinion: Man, We Haven’t Talked in Forever, Also Wouldn’t It Be Great To Be Your Own Boss?!

Dan Kozuh • December 15, 2020

Hey bro, what’s goin’ on? I can’t believe we graduated high school fifteen years ago, seems like yesterday we were…

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