Bobby D. Lux
•
March 21, 2018
GREEN BAY, Wis. — Aging punk Brian Kowalczyk marked himself “safe” on Facebook early this morning upon learning that iconic…
Read More →
Edgar Towner
•
March 9, 2018
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump was seen anxiously wringing his hands in the Oval Office for several hours after accepting…
Read More →
LANSING, Mich. — Local OSHA inspector Gary Branville found an upsettingly high number of blatant safety violations in the latest…
Read More →
Dan Kozuh
•
February 28, 2018
WASHINGTON — Members of Congress kindly took time last week to hold a Town Hall-style meeting and explain the complexity…
Read More →
Chuck Kowalski
•
February 27, 2018
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Crust-punk presidential candidate Leo “Swamp” Marsh revealed plans today to slash employment opportunities during an impassioned campaign…
Read More →
Patrick Coyne
•
February 26, 2018
CHICAGO — Impish, iconoclastic musician Björk utterly vanished in plain sight last night after allegedly being tricked into uttering “kröjb”…
Read More →
Grant Stiles
•
February 25, 2018
MARRAKESH, Morocco — An archaeological discovery made outside of Marrakesh yesterday places the extinction of punk rock at roughly 8,000…
Read More →
Jeremy Kaplowitz
•
February 22, 2018
The school shooting in Parkland, Florida — one of the deadliest in modern American history — had many across the…
Read More →
Dan Kozuh
•
February 20, 2018
IRVINE, Calif. — Turtle Rock Elementary 5th-grader and admitted music snob Brandon Mosley insisted on Friday that he prefers “Weird…
Read More →
Cory Cousins
•
February 17, 2018
NEW ORLEANS — Local goth Peter “Draven” McGinty, burdened by his age and weight, has surgically removed his lower two…
Read More →
