Chuck Kowalski
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February 27, 2018
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Crust-punk presidential candidate Leo “Swamp” Marsh revealed plans today to slash employment opportunities during an impassioned campaign…
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Patrick Coyne
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February 26, 2018
CHICAGO — Impish, iconoclastic musician Björk utterly vanished in plain sight last night after allegedly being tricked into uttering “kröjb”…
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Grant Stiles
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February 25, 2018
MARRAKESH, Morocco — An archaeological discovery made outside of Marrakesh yesterday places the extinction of punk rock at roughly 8,000…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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February 22, 2018
The school shooting in Parkland, Florida — one of the deadliest in modern American history — had many across the…
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Dan Kozuh
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February 20, 2018
IRVINE, Calif. — Turtle Rock Elementary 5th-grader and admitted music snob Brandon Mosley insisted on Friday that he prefers “Weird…
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Cory Cousins
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February 17, 2018
NEW ORLEANS — Local goth Peter “Draven” McGinty, burdened by his age and weight, has surgically removed his lower two…
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Dan Rice
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February 15, 2018
How many times does this need to happen in our country before we finally take action? What happened in Florida…
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Rick Homuth
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February 14, 2018
PYEONGCHANG, South Korea — U.S. snowboarder Shaun White exchanged all three of his gold medals this morning for the prestigious…
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Krissy Howard
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February 12, 2018
PYEONGCHANG, South Korea — D.R.I.’s legendary “Skanker Man” logo was awarded the Olympic silver medal in the men’s 5000 meter…
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Kyle Erf
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February 10, 2018
HARTFORD, Conn. — Local comical shirt collector and self-described #Resistance member Jared Wayne was overjoyed this morning by the arrival…
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