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OSHA Inspector Shocked by Numerous Safety Violations in “Construction Chicks 2018” Calendar

LANSING, Mich. — Local OSHA inspector Gary Branville found an upsettingly high number of blatant safety violations in the latest edition of the popular “Construction Chicks” calendar series, government officials confirmed.

“As soon as you look at the cover of the calendar, lots of things jump right out at you,” Branville said as he slowly looked over each month in the calendar from various angles. “Like right here: this young woman is operating some sort of torch, with no eye protection whatsoever. Any OSHA inspector worth his salt would have shut this jobsite down immediately.”

Branville discovered the calendar while conducting a routine safety compliance check at a Battle Creek warehouse.

“Lots of these warehouse workers will have calendars like this scattered around, but I certainly hope they don’t get influenced by any of the poor safety habits of these models,” said Branville. “Miss August is sitting on top of a 4’ ladder, despite numerous warnings clearly posted on the ladder itself. And as far as I understand, Daisy Duke-style shorts have not been permitted on any jobsite I’ve ever been on. I will say, though: the boots she’s wearing do appear to be steel toed, so I have to give some credit for that.”

“I just hope these workers realize that, at the end of the day, nothing’s sexier than industrial head protection that meets the 1997, 2003, and 2009 editions of ANSI Z89.1. When worn with high-visibility work attire, anyway,” he added.


Jaylene Shelton, featured as Miss May in the calendar, defended her casual jobsite attire.

“I understand safety is always a priority in any workplace, but comfort is also something to consider,” said Shelton. “That’s why I’m wearing the proper OSHA-rated fall protection harness with pride. Yeah, maybe I’m not wearing anything else under it, but since this particular job site was in hot-and-humid Miami, I actually felt more safe knowing I wasn’t going to risk overheating or something. The wardrobe guys on that shoot seemed to really know what they were doing.”

At press time, Branville was unable to pursue citations for the countless violations seen in the calendar due to his ongoing investigation into the poor work practices portrayed in the popular children’s show, Bob the Builder.

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Article by The Hard Times Staff @REALpunknews.