Leo Schuehle
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MILLWOOD, Wash. — Residents of Millwood, Wash. are reportedly confused by local pop-punk band Pacific Standard, with citizens collectively wondering…
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John Danek
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TROY, Mich. — Floor Trends Magazine editors have chosen NOFX’s 1994 skate-punk anthem “Linoleum” as the magazine’s Song of the…
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Lauren Lavín
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VACAVILLE, Calif. — Local thrash band VomIts-Its officially canceled their summer tour yesterday after every member was forced to attend…
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Ted Pillow
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SAVANNAH, Ga. — AFI superfan Kristen Gallows spent her entire paycheck last night on amulets yet again, bankrupting herself for…
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Mark Maira
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Yes, we understand that we confused Jared Simmons as a member of the Hammerskin Nation, one of the most violent…
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Patrick Coyne
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TUCKER, Ga. — Punk Ollie Boyer turned around a framed photo on his nightstand last night of punk rock icon…
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Teri Donahugh
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MILWAUKEE — Sound Engineer Quintin Hafner purchased a large-format DiGiCo S31 Digital Mixer yesterday, but was unable to fit the…
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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local hardcore kid Connor Razzo moshed very cautiously at a show last night to protect the record…
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Tom Peters
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TULSA, Okla. — Christian rapper Young Xannah admitted today that the only beef he refuses to “squash” is his ongoing…
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Patrick Coyne
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SARASOTA, Fla — Local man Daniel Mulrennan made a potentially friendship-damaging mistake moments ago, blurting out, “I can’t make it”…
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