Cory Cousins
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TAMPA, Fla. — Local man Blake Davis, known for his large tribal tattoo that doubles as a Godsmack tattoo, went…
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Dan Kozuh
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DETROIT — Aging rocker Perry Dunn, frontman for the seminal hair metal band Töpsy Türvy, left his rented room at…
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John Dixon
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LONDON — Venerable heavy metal legends Iron Maiden announced they will hit the road again late next year and will…
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John Dixon
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ATLANTA — Adam Hansen, the lead vocalist of death metal band Corpse Licker and best known for his flowing locks…
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John Danek
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GENEVA — Scientists at the European Organization for Nuclear Research discovered yesterday that Iron Maiden’s 8:46-long “Brighter Than a Thousand…
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James Knapp
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WEST LAWN, Penn. — A violent altercation in an IHOP parking lot yesterday between members of doom-metal band Savage Agnes…
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Dan Kozuh
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IRVINE, Calif. — Fastidious and strict Irvine Public High School Principal Gene Jensen was assaulted at work yesterday by the…
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Andrew Murphy
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SEATTLE — Perpetually single man Conner Turner ruined a promising first date last Friday when he brought up the infamous…
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Nick Ortolani
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PLAINSVILLE, Iowa — Local virgin Andy Wardell grew concerned yesterday that his future sexual intercourse may resemble the acts described…
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Daniel Arnold
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SEATTLE — Dedicated grandfather and unapologetic metalhead Lyle Makowski carved the names of his two grandsons, Henry and Mitchell, on…
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