Parker Newman
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BANGOR, Maine — Mayor Chesty the French Bulldog enacted a city-wide ban today on fireworks ahead of Independence Day festivities,…
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Ryan Harnedy
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BROOKLYN — Casual sex enthusiast Steve Searcy revealed today that his recent Tinder date Monica Preston seemed to have “more…
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Nick Ortolani
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Every 4th of July we reflect on this great nation and our founding principles. These days, it feels like many…
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Patrick Coyne
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WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Local punk Niles Torsten displayed the “LOV” and “HAT” tattoos on his gnarled fingers last night…
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Mark Roebuck
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NEW YORK — The hosts of "Fox & Friends" demonstrated how drinking out of a toilet was “completely normal” on…
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Bobby D. Lux
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SANTA FE, N.M. — Local tattoo artist Robert Edward is reportedly seeking adequate care for his near two-dozen tarantulas during…
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Mark Roebuck
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FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Local teenage lifeguard Jeremy Keenum openly wished yesterday that someone at the recreational pool he covers would…
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Patrick Coyne
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MISSOULA, Mont. — Real-deal, bloodsucking vampire Count Adhemar Chauve-Souris was vehemently dismissed as a poser today by mall goths he…
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Anthony Kelly
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LOS ANGELES — 36-year-old skateboarder Rodney Sanders found himself in a great moral predicament yesterday when he sided with irate…
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Parker Newman
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SACRAMENTO, Calif. — An episode of the mental health podcast Forgetting Sarah Tonin went unrecorded this week due to technical…
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