Patrick Coyne
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LOS ANGELES — A mysterious pair of sunglasses discovered by local crust punk and drifter Rick “Zilch” Toombs allegedly allow…
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Brooks Gray
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SANDUSKY, Ohio — Sandusky resident Brent Farrett, well-known for his racism-free skeleton, was flabbergasted yesterday by his diagnosis of “acute…
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Goodrich Gevaart
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BLOOMFIELD, Iowa — A rally for Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders is entering its fourth hour of delay while event…
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Patrick Crooks
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NAPLES, Fla. — A dinner party last night was left in tatters after an anti-vaccination activist and 9/11 truther used…
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Freelancer
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WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Punk bassist Becca Roberts defended her decision today to use a plectrum for the clitoral stimulation…
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Kyle Sekaquaptewa
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Oh boy, look who just walked in. Who does this douchebag think he is? I hate when assholes from out…
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Mark Roebuck
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BISBEE, Ariz. — An “emergency” episode of the conspiracy theory-themed podcast Overacity Radio speculated about a direct correlation between the…
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Ted Pillow
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CLEVELAND — Lonely divorcée Gary Funk was caressed last night for the first time in years by venue security at…
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Erin McLaughlin
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Hi I tried to click on the Google Document you sent to me over email with the invite for the…
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Joe Rumrill
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NORWELL, Mass. — Animal, the eccentric drummer of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, signed a lucrative endorsement deal today…
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